I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
