why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
