Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
