I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
