u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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