whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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