I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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