Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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