but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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