it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
