I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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