Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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