Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
