i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
