That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
