Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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