He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
