i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
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Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
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Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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