I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
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I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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