Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
