Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize