she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
