I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize