me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
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Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
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The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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