ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
