Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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