My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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