he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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