You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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