i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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