Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
