I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
