there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
