Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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