My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
