They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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