Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
fuck your aforementioned shoe
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
