I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
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