11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
