There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
