You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
