ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
