The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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