Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
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He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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