After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
