i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
