i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
