I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
