You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
