take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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