Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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