i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
