apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize