you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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