i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
