I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I had to cum in my sink.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
